A question about divorce women and money worries.

Dear Barb,

I'm so worried about money I can't sleep at night. My husband and I had decided I would be a stay-at-home mom. Now, I don't know if I can survive financially, and keep imagining I'm going to end up in a box under a bridge. What can I do to ease my mind and ensure I have the financial resources I need?

Signed,

Boxed In

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Dear Boxed,

No matter the circumstances, you have more power that you realize.

If your settlement is not yet final, contact a financial planner who specializes in divorce and can guide you to a fair settlement. If your divorce is final, it is still important to work with a financial planner who can help you move forward. Choose a person who not only can run the numbers, but who will ask what your dreams and goals are for your future.

Be aware of how you may hold yourself back. Almost five years after my divorce I woke up in the middle of the night realizing I was keeping myself broke and miserable so I could point to my ex and say, "See what he did to me." Yikes...I was giving away my power and putting my future back into his hands. A strong, clear voice in my head shouted, "This is not acceptable, bucko!"

What "is acceptable" is to learn, make decisions, sometimes make mistakes, and do what we need to take control of our future.

Instead of being under a bridge, create a bridge to your new life.

Visti our Reources Page for a list of financial planners.

Visit www.ruthhayden.com for classes on Women & Money